Success Stories
Use the links to access the success story you would like to read.
A's Story
R's new bedtime routine
Fit Magazine 2006
Becoming Disjointed -
January 28, 2006
3 Months on..
From RP, six months on
I did it!!!
Reggae Music
Mrs Mac
A's Story
I regularly smoked cannabis for over 30 years before quitting with the help of Clearhead. Perhaps my story will support you in making that decision to quit….
My teenage years in the sixties were characterised by “pot” being rarely out of the media spotlight – many of my contemporary heroes and role models had associations with dope, and “tuning-in and turning-on” were very much part of the lifestyle. Dope was cool, and you and your stash were the centre of attention - at parties, with girls…. This was my passport to popularity, and I loved the highs….the music…the drug-talk, etc. Just like in those embarrassing archive films we now see on tv!
Dope was also naughty, and for me – an integral element of adolescent rebellion. My parents would have freaked if they knew where my pocket money was going! (In those days, a “5-bob deal” – that's 25p - was plenty for a fun Saturday night!)
Going to university, I straight away sought out the other dope smokers (not too difficult in 1969!), and getting stoned was very much part of my student lifestyle. At this time, smoking dope was still largely a weekend activity, to the extent that the prospect of a weekend without dope led to panic and convincing myself that I wouldn't be able to have fun. This pattern continued when I began working, although this time, my dope smoking was facilitated by regular money coming in.
At work us few dope smokers quickly found each other – we were a secret society of rebels up against the straight conventions of capitalism and holding down a job! Cannabis use was evolving from a weekend pastime to a daily activity…pub after work, followed by spliffs, takeaway food, tv, and more spliffs. Then the sneaky lunchtime spliff started…. The buzz was being stoned and colleagues and bosses not having the foggiest idea!
I loved smoking dope. Everyday experiences were more enjoyable stoned – work, movies, gigs, socialising….you name it! Chores could only be done when stoned (with difficulty!) All this time I was smoking more and more – my friends knew me first and foremost as a stoner. I began to rely on dope to get over personal and emotional challenges, and increasingly finding myself socially awkward whilst stoned. A joint before a date inevitably made that a one-off event, and if not stoned, I couldn't wait to get home and roll one. Most women I met weren't into dope, and didn't view stoners as contenders for committed relationships. I found female stoners equally dull. I felt lonely and missing out on the joys of relationships – so what did I do??? Yes you've guessed…I smoked even more, and the vicious circle deepened. Intuitively I realised what was going on, but blocked out any notions of psychological addiction.
I thought I had it pretty well made – on the surface a normal straight life, a successful career, money, friends, house…and all whilst smoking cannabis.
Move ahead a few years – I'm now married and with 2 beautiful daughters (met my wife at my friend / dealer's birthday party!). My wife doesn't smoke (apart from the very rare occasion), and showed her disappointment at me getting stoned every night. My daughters hated the smell of smoke, and were very anti-smoking as a consequence of PHSE at school, although they didn't know it was cannabis I was smoking. Cannabis was also a libido suppressant……
My work is cyclical – periods of intense activity followed by a lull, and being self-employed and working from home, the quiet periods presented the perfect opportunity for self-indulgent dope smoking. Trouble was I should have been looking for my next project in the quiet periods….The smoking was becoming surreptitious and deceitful as I kept it secret from my wife and kids. The guilt around this and not putting 100% into work was very stressful, and to alleviate the stress I was smoking even more. By this time, I wasn't even getting high – rolling and smoking were now just something I did. My thoughts were constantly preoccupied with dope and my next smoke. I'd rush through client meetings in order to get into the car and light one up. I found I couldn't think straight, was becoming inarticulate, and acutely self conscious and paranoid that people's perceptions of me were negative. To help me through this I turned to – “our friend”!
I had previously tried stopping, sometimes for months at a time, but was always looking forward to starting again, or blagging a smoke from friends and kidding myself that I had it under control. The fact was I couldn't control it. If I had gear, I'd smoke it constantly all day from when the kids went to school until they went to bed.
Then I read about Clearhead and made a decision in an instant. That day I went on to the web, downloaded the form and enrolled for the programme. I felt apprehensive, yet excited at the prospect, and told everyone of my plan. Having publicised my intention, I had to go through with it. A week before the course I finished my stash.
Arriving at the first session, I couldn't look anyone in the eye. There was a real cross section of society participating – all ages and backgrounds, but all with the same goal. It immediately became clear that in spite of surface differences we all had similar stories and experiences. We talked about our cannabis relationships in an open and safe environment, the discussion and concepts being facilitated by knowledgeable people who'd been through it all.
That night most of the group had their last spliff and got rid of their paraphernalia. For me this was the equivalent of crossing the Rubicon, as I threw away expensive pipes and stash boxes. The following morning the group gathered again and at lunchtime we said our farewells to begin anew. We met up weekly for 6 weeks after the course, sharing the ups and downs, and giving each other encouragement via the phone and email.
I really appreciate how the Clearhead team provide the means to change the habit of a lifetime. They care, are committed to making a difference, and live by their words. There is no “snake oil” being peddled – the process focuses on us realising where we are and what could be without dope. There is no anti-dope evangelism or spiritual mumbo-jumbo involved, and humour and laughs punctuate the sessions. After all, we're all pot-heads!
I've not smoked since. It's not easy, but I do enjoy being straight. I'm surprised at how I've avoided temptation even when in a room with joints being passed around, and having received “a present from the West Indies” in the post. I feel much more self confident about my work – I've lost the lack of self-esteem as a dope smoker, and happily talk to clients and colleagues as an equal.
At home I'm much more relaxed by not having to hide evidence of dope smoking. I sleep better and dream vividly. Oh – and my libido has returned….with a vengeance!
R's new bedtime routine
I can't remember exactly when it started but I do remember when I was at secondary school (about 13) I used to go to bed about 10pm. It would take me some time do get to sleep and then by 2am I was up, wide awake wondering what to do.
Sometimes I would just lay there staring around or just sit at the window looking out onto the empty street, making sure not to disturb the rest of the family.
Mum was pretty regimented so the household chores were always done before we went to bed so sometimes I'd go downstairs and delve into mums repair box (that's where she kept all the clothes that needed mending, new buttons, hemming etc). I remember going through a period when all of mums repair jobs that could be done by hand were done (boy I made a lot of family members happy!)
I'd go take a shower sometimes, do some ironing, flick through the TV (although I knew that mum knew I was awake and she didn't like us watching unnecessary TV, so if she heard it on she would be downstairs like a shot to switch it off and usher me to bed, but if she could hear the rustling of pots and pans or other chores she'd leave me be)
Then about 12 years ago I remember being at college and many of my friends ‘puffed'. One day we were talking about sleep patterns when I mentioned mine. A few of my friends then told me I should try a puff and that will soon sort the problem out. So I did and it worked………or at least I thought it did!
Over the years one joint a night became a couple here and there as well as my ‘bedtime joint' and then for the last 6-7 years I would puff when ever I had the opportunity to do so, I'd rush home from work to puff, do it before I went to work, miss out on nights out with my mates so I can stay in and get stoned…. I guess you all know the drill…..as for sleep, it never changed. I'd have a bedtime joint in bed. This would get me to sleep but I still would wake up during the night eventually I started smoking another joint when I woke up to put me back to sleep.
For quite some time I had been feeling guilty while smoking as my health isn't in the best of states to begin with, so when I saw the tiny little clearhead ad in a paper I don't usually read I see it as a sign to quit!
My main concern was sleep. So when I joined the weekend session I expressed this, James is obviously one step ahead as he had already prepared some guidance on this. When I got home that night I had a thorough read and absorbed the information.
Since quitting, I have a proper bedtime routine. I aim to do some sort of exercise every day so that I tire myself out. During the week I do something after work swim, gym or group exercise (even after my Wednesday clearhead session!). I never shower at the gym. I get home and have a nice hot relaxing bath. While the
bath is running I put the kettle on and light the candles in my bedroom with a relaxing scent. I then get in the bath, I make sure not to spend too much time in it though! When I get out of the bath I make me a camomile tea and take it to the bedroom.
While that cools I moisturise myself and then I get into bed and read a calming relaxing book as apposed to one that's going to keep me on edge whilst drinking my tea for about 20 mins. I then turn the lights out put on my relaxing music. and now I never hear the end of the half hour cd!
I do still wake up during the night but I have accepted that I am a light sleeper, but now I'm not awake for long, I generally tend to fall right back to sleep, I wake up feeling fantastic and life seems to be brilliant at the moment, although realistically the only thing that has changed is me not smoking. I have so much time and energy, I love it. I no longer seem to be stressed about things in my personal life like I used to although oddly enough nothing has actually changed.
I wonder somehow that was smoking my way of trying to escape real life but only causing me more worries? Like I said real life is still the same, the trials and tribulations are still there, it hasn't changed, only now my head is clear and I don't worry about real life because realistically it's great and not the problem I thought it was!
Fit Magazine 2006
“I just felt absolutely amazing walking around with a smile on my face for days – really happy and content with life.” For Paul a 28 year-old student from Manchester, life changed for the better once he quit cannabis.
Having smoked almost every night for ten years, Paul knew it was harming his physical and mental health, and legally risky.
He'd tried giving up before, but always lapsed after a few weeks.
This time he had the support of a new organisation called Clearhead, which helps people who want to give up smoking cannabis. He went on a two-day weekend course and now meets up with the rest of the group on Wednesday nights. They also email each other for support.
Cannabis isn't nearly as addictive as nicotine or some hard drug, so with willpower and the right support, giving up isn't too difficult.
“It's been easier than I thought,” says Paul. “ But I have had some hard times. After a bad day I'd normally go home and roll a fat one. Now I try to avoid going home if I'm feeling like that – I'll walk round the shops or go for a run. That way I can dodge the temptation.” Now a month after the course Paul is determined to stay off cannabis forever. “ I think everybody who smokes has a part of them that wants to give up. You know its bad for you and it makes you a lazy sod. I knew for a while that I should give up but it took me seven years to do something about it.
“ Since I quit life is just easier. I've got so much energy and it's like the real me is coming out. That's why I'm sure I'm not going to smoke again.”
Reprinted from Fit magazine spring 2006 names have been changed to protect the innocent.
3 Months on..
Hi
I really am grateful for your help, attending the sessions acted as a bit of a catalyst to sorting the rest of my life out. I'm now generally happier, have a renewed focus at work and am feeling healthier (physically and mentally) than I have done in ages. Should I happen to slip up its good to know I can count on your support. Its going to be a tense game for Spurs this weekend but am pleased to say I wont need to smoke anything to get me through it. Might be biting my nails a bit though!
Clearhead says unfortunately spurs lost but as far as I know Steve didn't resort to smoking
From RP. Six months on.
Hi, You'll be pleased to hear I'm still a non smoker in the dope dept. I'm much happier, feel more level headed, and can still resist the temptation. Went to a band practice last weekend where every one was smoking weed and I still abstained and felt proud that I didnt feel the need to join in. So thanks to you and Adrianne you have at least one success to your credit.
Another thing I should mention is my fitness. It's taken a while but my lungs are getting back to a better state. I'm now walking up the escalators on the tube, something that was a goal of mine from your original questions. The escalator at Angel is the longest on the network and I can walk up it without feeling like I'm going to die when I get to the top, I am still a bit out of breath when I get there but that's to be expected and will, I'm sure, improve in time.
I did it !!! - (Nicola E)
After 22 years, I finally decided that enough was enough, I contacted Clearhead after a colleague showed me an article in The Times Newspaper. I grabbed the bull by the horns and got in touch. I have not looked back since. I have to say that the first two months were not easy by any means, all the withdrawal symptoms that I went though were really not nice but eventually the cloud lifted and days passed when I didn't even give a spliff a thought. Now nearly 4 months on I actually feel free. Friends and family definitely doubted me but I wasn't out to prove anything to them, however now when they congratulate me, I am very proud of myself.
Cannabis completely ruled my life and I never believed that I could give up but I'm here, free from dope and I sometimes still don't believe it myself. Going to the Clearhead weekend course didn't give me any new information about smoking that I didn't know already, lets be honest, if you're a smoker, you have had loads of time to assess being stoned and all that it entails, what it did give me was other like minded people who all knew where I was at and I knew where they were at and that gave me the strength and support to a degree to be able to quit, with others it almost became an unsaid competition in my own head not to fall off the wagon and be beaten by a stronger willed person than me. Everybody is different, try not to compare too much, and when you feel ready, GO FOR IT. If you fall off, get back on. Be strong, be determined, BE FREE.
I wish you all the very best in the future.
Thanks for all your support and your fantastic commitment to this almost unrecognised addiction.
Reggae Music
I've not had any cannabis inclinations until this weekend when I went - unaccompanied, to a reggae gig. The idea of not smoking during such an event was anathema...as you can imagine, 99% of the audience would be smoking, the air would be thick with ganja, and the theme of much of the music is herb-related.
Going alone to such an event was not my choice, but I really wanted to see the artists performing, having collected their music for the best part of 25 years, and this being their first visit to the UK. Anyway, I sort of promised myself a "treat" as a one-off, with no intention of relapsing into old habits, in the firm belief that a smoke would make the gig that bit more enjoyable. Accordingly, I dug out my "present from the West Indies" that I'd been keeping for just such an occasion.
Arriving at the venue, the air was pungent with weed and the music and vibes were really good. I found myself a good spot and was soon well into the music. Bizarrely, there was no way I was going to take the spliff out of my shirt pocket and light up - the guilt-trip was kept at bay by my thinking that the moment in time wasn't quite right.
As I got more into the performances, I realised that I didn't really need to smoke to make the event any more enjoyable or to compensate for being on my own. In fact seeing a lot of very stoned people around me provided additional entertainment between acts! I enjoyed the ganja-infested atmosphere without any wish to be directly part of it.
I have to tell you that yesterday's concert was a major milestone in my freedom from the weed. I had a great time, and realised that my love of reggae music and ability to enjoy it and as they say in the vernacular "feel irie", is in no way dependent on being stoned.
For the first time in my life I actually got high from the music....no - it wasn't from the passive smoking of other people's joints!
I think I understand now more about the role and importance of environmental/behavioural factors in cannabis addiction. Whilst smaller but similar breakthroughs have been around socialising with my "smoking friends", I would have never before contemplated listening to live reggae without having a joint with me - even if it meant scoring at the gig. Knowing and experiencing that the dope isn't essential in these circumstances is a critical breakthrough.
Clearhead graduate February 2006
Mrs Mac
It's been 11 weeks for me now and I can honestly say it only gets better. I just wanted to add about the sleeping thing that I find that the difference in my sleeping is amazing. I used to be so stoned when falling quite literally into bed that sleep wasn't an issue and in the morning I would have to drag myself out of bed and perform family breakfasts, packed lunches and school runs on automatic pilot! Now however things are very different! I read before I go to bed and rarely feel ready to sleep, but am amazed that I do fall asleep and sleep ok. I thought at the beginning I wasn't getting any sleep, but what I now believe is that my brain is active and I can "hear it" as it were. I feel refreshed in the morning not dopey so I must be sleeping. Also my dreams are great - I never used to have those! It's really hard to give up and I don't ever want to experience the first few weeks again and I think that is a good reason not to go back - but I have made that decision not to smoke and that's it! so here's hoping to continued success and clear heads in the morning!
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