Beyond the Pleasure Principle

"One reason cannabis is such a popular drug is that it’s incredibly versatile; another is that it’s clearly habit forming. For the most part, users say they smoke to relax; others accept that it simply makes life less boring, or helps them sleep through the night. It changes consciousness, offering an opportunity to let the mind play freely outside the constrictions of everyday reality.

Many people lead hard-working lives and have little money for entertainment, so they consider a few joints at the end of the day to be just compensation. I have acquaintances that are convinced that if it wasn’t for weed they would be even more depressed or unhappy than they already are.

For a long time I was certain that using cannabis was the only way I could get in touch with my creative side, and I have met others who sincerely believed that pot, used as a sacrament, opened a pathway to a spiritual understanding they would never have reached without a relationship with the sacred herb. Some swear they owe cannabis a huge debt, believing that, thanks to its soothing effect, they have managed to break free from a real addiction to harder drugs, or that weed has kept them from doing physical harm to themselves or to others.

The arguments for medicinal cannabis use are well known. Anecdotal evidence makes a convincing case for licensed use to help with many conditions, notably for pain relief and for spasm management, as well as respite from the nausea and loss of appetite for those undergoing chemo treatments. Taking these points of view into consideration, it’s easy to understand why the pro-cannabis lobby feels resentment over laws that criminalize and threaten their liberty. They might reasonably argue that the nature and uses of cannabis have been long misunderstood by those who never inhaled.

In other words, there is a rational viewpoint that says cannabis, like alcohol, is essentially pretty safe if used appropriately. Many potheads would argue more so. For years I would excuse the massive extent of my smoking by comparing alcohol and cannabis. I would rationalize that, because I would smoke consistently during the day and through the night and consider myself to still be reasonably functional, my use was essentially harmless. I was also convinced that cannabis smoking caused far fewer social problems than alcohol and other drugs.

But it’s a question of tolerance and, of course, denial. In the end, I couldn’t accept that it was enough to simply be reasonably functional. I wanted more from my life.

For a start, I wanted to be clearheaded again; to be able to remember things; to be aware of time passing at normal speed, not stretched or shrunk. I wanted more of a social life. I wanted to be more confident and not so self-obsessed. I wanted to be in control and less lazy. I felt ready to finally grow up and turn away from a pleasure that had evolved into a routine, then into a habit, and finally into a full-blown dependency."