Socializing in Recovery

"As our minds clear and our recovery strengthens, most people find it easier to get a stronger feel for their own identity, to finally see who they really are when they strip away other people’s expectations and judgements. This in itself allows moments of clarity when we think about our closest relationships. Taking this perspective, beyond using drink and drugs to drown our insecurities and screen out painful feelings, it might be useful for a moment to broadly classify ourselves and our friends as either hedonists or puritans.

In my experience, most people in recovery (from whatever addiction) still see themselves as hedonists who for reasons of health and safety can’t sustain what can only be described as a self-destructive lifestyle. If we dig a little deeper, however, very often we find that we have taken on a little of the mindset of the puritan, to protect ourselves from the sad truth that we cannot indulge ourselves like our old friends seem to be able to.

Likewise hedonism can sometimes only have a limited shelf-life before it is spoilt by feelings of guilt and regret, which is why so often our friends are the first ones to ask us about quitting and how we did it."