How can you describe what it feels like to get high, really high to someone who has never experienced it?
A release of pressure, an increased sensitivity, a freeing of imagination, an almost imperceptible bending of consciousness, a near dreamlike state, a physical feeling of warmth like being wrapped up in a blanket, perhaps some of these things, possibly none, everybody will have their own personal experience.
For me when I got the high the first time, it was an adventure a secret alternative to my everyday existence that I carried around in a plastic bag in my back pocket. Those first few experiments with hash and grass and other drugs were some of the most exciting and intense of my life, and at some point I decided that smoking weed wasn’t just for parties, and odd afternoons, and evenings, it was forever. I felt like a scientist who had just discovered a wonder drug, a cure for life with no side effects.
As I entered my twenties and then through my thirties, and beyond I smoked every day and told myself that smoking dope made my life more interesting more unpredictable but in truth I’d forgotten what it was like to have a straight head. I wasn’t getting high anymore I was just smoking to get stoned which is a different thing.
Reading No Need For Weed will allow you to openly and honestly address your relationship with cannabis in a completely non-judgmental way, helping you to understand that simply being stoned is a very different thing from actually getting and staying high.
It wasn’t until I reached my mid-forties that I had to face that I found myself lonely and depressed (although I didn’t for one moment think that was because of the amount of weed I was smoking every day)
One day, I met somebody who exuded a wonderful calm and happy confidence. I asked him what his secret was and he told me that he practiced yoga everyday and that I should try it, so I went for classes. It was the first physical exercise I had done since leaving school. To give it a chance, I made a big effort not to smoke dope for six hours before my class.
As well as the exercises, each class featured yogic breathing and relaxation techniques and after a few weeks, I was walking out of the classes feeling spaced yet balanced and relaxed, really high in a way that felt completely different from my usual dope experience.
I would get home feeling absolutely fantastic and you know what was the first thing I would do? I’d reach for the cigarette papers and roll myself a fat one; sometimes I couldn’t even wait to get home and would have one ready rolled in my pocket for the walk to the train station. I rationalized that I wanted to get even higher. As soon as I inhaled, I noticed the difference, my natural subtle high began to evaporate to be replaced by the more powerful physical drug sensations, I felt clumsier, my mind felt cloudier, but the familiar felt safe. If nothing else being stoned was a comfortable feeling that was familiar to me.
Now I’m not suggesting that you go out and find the nearest yoga class, (although that wouldn’t be such a bad idea)
But I am trying to point out that if you smoke dope every day after a little while it feels like you have to smoke to feel normal. Your habitual altered state of awareness brings you to the point where not being stoned feels profoundly uncomfortable. Where are you at? Are you getting high anymore?